Writing this entry took me longer than necessary. I have been writing this since 8pm last night, but somehow, despite the overwhelming emotions that I was feeling and my desire to tell my story, the words were not flowing easily. I still ended up ruminating (and stewing), and I was up all night writing on and off. I tried to sleep several times and postpone posting this entry but sleep is my ever elusive lover. It wasn’t until noon today that I have managed to sleep, when a big chunk of this entry was already written. Three hours later, I got up to write some more. Once I hit “publish”, I will close this laptop and leave my bedroom for the first time today. It is now almost 5pm, EST. J will take me out and give me hugs as promised, and I will try to get over yesterday’s episode like I have done other previous episodes. These are the life cards that I have been dealt with, and I’ll be damned if I end up losing this game. As they say, fall down seven times, rise up eight. I’m a sore loser so I guess I’ll just keep on getting up.
This dish is best served with pasta tossed in parmesan cheese and truffle oil (or rice if you’re Asian). The tomato paste is a good tangy balance to the basil pesto, and the cream adds the luxurious texture. Also, baking the chicken is better than frying it, as you lose the extra fat in the process. It’s still moist, but not as fatty.
If you ever find yourself in the same kind of bind and you have relatively similar ingredients in your home, I recommend that you try this out instead of reaching for that pack of instant ramen/Kraft Dinner/pancit canton. This is just as quick, but healthier. No salt or MSG either, so your kidneys will thank you.
They say that defence is the best offence. I believe that it also applies to our bodies as well. If we take good care of it now, we will suffer less in the future (especially once we get older). With proper nutrition, enough exercise, and solid self-care habits, we are helping our future selves live comfortably. At the same time, there’s a correlation between our bodies to our mental health. Being physically healthy lends us energy to becoming mentally healthy as well. We can’t isolate one from the other. Self-love must be holistic. Hitting that perfect balance will help us enjoy our current selves.
This movie came out when I was piecing together a broken heart. I watched it with my sister and a girlfriend, and now I don’t remember if I was crying more because of the movie or because I was heartbroken.
Dati iniisip kong normal lang ang ganitong pagtrato dahil ito na ang kapaligiran at kulturang kinalakhan ko. Bihira akong makarinig ng papuri. Parang palaging may pagkukulang. At kapag nakakarinig ako ng kwento ng ibang mga tao, aking napagtatanto na sila rin ay lumaki sa konsepto ng tough love. Ang paniniwala kasi, sa ganitong pamamaraan tayo magiging malakas. Tinuturuan tayong magkaroon ng matigas na dibdib (at makapal na mukha). At kung nasasaktan man ang iyong damdamin, ikaw ang may problema. Ikaw ang nasa mali, kasi tinutulungan ka lang nilang maging perpekto. Kaya para wala na silang maisusumbat pa, matututo kang manahimik at magkimkim na lamang.
Don’t be afraid of colour – it’s 2020, so leave the monochromatic scheme behind. Especially with food, it’s more appetizing to see different colours on your plate. And you have to admit, having that variety makes you feel a little bit fancier. If that doesn’t lift your mood, I don’t know what will.
Being a sucker for a good love story, I prepared myself for two hours of heart-tugging feels. Plot-wise, if caring for your comatose girlfriend for years is not romantic and sad enough, how about realizing that she has no memories of you after she wakes up? It was like watching The Vow and The Notebook, only more innocent and painful.
Whatever the activity is, I think it is important to enjoy your own company. It is not a bad idea to be left to your own devices once in a while. Sometimes, we get inundated with too much information that we need some time to process our thoughts and listen to our own needs. It took me some time to realize this, and even longer to fully enjoy it. It’s not an easy task to lose the self-consciousness, the anxiety, or the fear of judgment. Trust me, I am still working on that every single day. But we are given this lifetime to work on ourselves. It is when we are stagnant and unchanging that we become boring. And truthfully, life is too short to be boring.
As I turn a year older, I wish for good health for me (so I can take on new experiences without getting sick or dropping dead any time soon) and my loved ones. I pray for strength and resilience, as I try to navigate through a lot of the unknowns that come with making drastic life choices. Most importantly, I wish for patience: from myself and from others as I continue my journey of therapy and healing.