This occasion should be about an all-encompassing kind love, not just the romantic love. It should be about parental love, sibling love, friendly love, and most importantly, self-love. After all, this is why the saying “Before you can love others, you have to love yourself first” is so important. And sometimes, self-love is also the hardest thing to do. We tend to be so absorbed in making others happy that we fail to look after ourselves. Our tendency is to share ourselves to everyone that we forget to tune in and listen to our own needs.
After watching the movie, I have added Phantom to my must-see list of musicals live before I die. As luck would have it, the company has returned to Toronto just before Valentine’s Day and J has agreed to be my date.
I am very conscious of how much we spend on dates, as I feel bad that I am not able to contribute like before. I must admit, it was (and still is) a bit of a challenge since I was never really used to having a budget.
You want to know how despair feels like? Imagine a constant pressure in your chest, like a weight that gets heavier and heavier every time you breathe. You feel constricted, like you are drowning. And the worst part? It’s all inside. No one can even see how much you’re suffering. You try to verbalize what you feel and yet no one understands. Perhaps it’s because you speak your truth with a smile to mask the severity of your pain. Perhaps it’s because you lose your eloquence, trying to organize your chaos into words. Or perhaps because others just genuinely don’t understand. Regardless of the reason, it doesn’t change the fact that you feel utterly alone.
I couldn’t help but smile wryly as I remembered the innocent feelings that I had, I was only 11 years old at the time after all.