Dati iniisip kong normal lang ang ganitong pagtrato dahil ito na ang kapaligiran at kulturang kinalakhan ko. Bihira akong makarinig ng papuri. Parang palaging may pagkukulang. At kapag nakakarinig ako ng kwento ng ibang mga tao, aking napagtatanto na sila rin ay lumaki sa konsepto ng tough love. Ang paniniwala kasi, sa ganitong pamamaraan tayo magiging malakas. Tinuturuan tayong magkaroon ng matigas na dibdib (at makapal na mukha). At kung nasasaktan man ang iyong damdamin, ikaw ang may problema. Ikaw ang nasa mali, kasi tinutulungan ka lang nilang maging perpekto. Kaya para wala na silang maisusumbat pa, matututo kang manahimik at magkimkim na lamang.
Whatever the activity is, I think it is important to enjoy your own company. It is not a bad idea to be left to your own devices once in a while. Sometimes, we get inundated with too much information that we need some time to process our thoughts and listen to our own needs. It took me some time to realize this, and even longer to fully enjoy it. It’s not an easy task to lose the self-consciousness, the anxiety, or the fear of judgment. Trust me, I am still working on that every single day. But we are given this lifetime to work on ourselves. It is when we are stagnant and unchanging that we become boring. And truthfully, life is too short to be boring.
This occasion should be about an all-encompassing kind love, not just the romantic love. It should be about parental love, sibling love, friendly love, and most importantly, self-love. After all, this is why the saying “Before you can love others, you have to love yourself first” is so important. And sometimes, self-love is also the hardest thing to do. We tend to be so absorbed in making others happy that we fail to look after ourselves. Our tendency is to share ourselves to everyone that we forget to tune in and listen to our own needs.